Umbrellas are just batons being passed around the world.“-Jim Gaffigan

(D.C. has very patriotic homeless people)

I hate it when it rains in D.C. for no other reason than that people around here lose any semblance of intelligence when it comes to walking with umbrellas. You should add 10 minutes to your commute when it rains. Why? Umbrellas.

People are incapable of walking efficiently with umbrellas. They all keep them at the same height, so it greatly expands the space that people take up when walking. Passing a throng of umbrellas is nearly impossible. It involves ducking if you have no umbrella, and holding your umbrella high if you have one.

The only added bonus to having an umbrella is that you can use yours to bump into other people when they’re generally sucking at life. Makes my day.

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