Tag Archives: Independence Day

PARODY: If SJL Gave the Independence Day Speech

Some date in the future, at a secret air base in the Nevada desert.

Aliens have sprung a surprise attack on America and the rest of the world. In your RV, you’ve taken shelter at this once-secret air base. The President and what remains of the top levels of government are there, debating how to respond.

An estranged cable technician devises a way to put a bug into the alien spaceship so we can attack it. Once it takes hold, fighter jets will attack the alien ships when their shields are down.

Your President? Former Texas Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee. A former fighter pilot in her own right, President SJL strides confidently out to a truck with a megaphone. But she still calls herself Congresswoman as a force of habit.

She delivers a rousing speech…. About the memory of an American great — Michael Jackson.

This is what it sounds like:

Super Wednesday Links


Roll Call: In Upset, Schmidt Goes Down in Ohio

FNCPolitics: Kucinich on losing primary to Kaptur: ‘I’d like to be able to congratulate her but she ran a media campaign ‘utterly lacking in integrity.’

CNN: Loudly Catholic Santorum loses Ohio Catholics

Marketplace: VIDEO: Super PAC Mad Libs

Bill Pullman: Alternate Independence Day Speech

Cleveland: Cleveland Browns: Joe Haden or Joe Thomas for the Madden 13 cover? Poll

Vanity Fair: West Wing Babies

Walter Williams: So many myths about trade deficits (ps, Examiner your web ads are annoying)

Seems I didn't fare so well in my predictions

Win Free Breakfast At Einstein Bagels For An ENTIRE YEAR

Lifehacker: Three Annoying and Unnecessary Things Companies Do to Get More of Your Money (and How You Can Stop Them)

Thought of the day from one of my favorite former economics professors:

Trying to understand how the same people who say drilling for oil is not the answer because it takes a decade to come online are also giving credit to a president who has been in office 3 years for increases in domestic oil production.

Our President as an annoying, self-righteous twenty something (I guess we have more in common than I thought, except maybe that he hasn’t changed.)

OTB: Buzzfeed Uncovers Video Of Obama At Harvard In 1991

The White House Doodles John Ehrlichman

Madden ’13 Cover — VOTE NOW -> http://on.fb.me/A0saLG

NYC Folks — visit this place

Slab City (one nsfw)

NewsNet5: Lawyer: Vatican overrules 13 Cleveland church closings

DailyCaller: Lottery winner using food stamps: ‘I thought maybe it was okay because I’m not working’

Maher: Liberals Looks Bad For Not Accepting Rush’s Apology (Read: Quit so conservatives will stop bringing me up)

Gawker: Columbia J-School Grad Submits Most Passive-Aggressively Vicious Alumni Update Ever

Elisha Cuthbert is master of impressions

The age-old argument: Maryland vs. Virginia

Mediaite: Imus Calls Into Cavuto’s Election Night Coverage, Proceeds To Trash Him, Fox Business, Everything

Perspective: How many citizens (per capita) in Virginia Santorum and Gingrich would have needed to sign something to make the primary ballot