Maybe Fiji Should Move to Cleveland?

You all remember Fiji water right? The trendy island water that made fun of Cleveland? Cleveland got all hurt over it (understandably, since water is kind of a taboo issue for us) and tested our water and theirs and compared: Cleveland’s water is safer. reported that the government of Fiji is raising taxes on this water company, and they are shutting down (for now). I am sure the reporter hit “publish” with some sense of glee. How poetic for a firm that trashed Cleveland to experience hardship!

Well, not as ironic as you might think. Government raises taxes, businesses leave? Sounds like a place I know and love — Cleveland! I guess Cleveland, like Fiji, can offer the same crappy business atmosphere, but with less regime change and roughly the same amount of corruption! And unions!

The Cleveland marketing crowd should get right on this. And I’ve already drafted a poster to help.

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5 Thoughts on “Maybe Fiji Should Move to Cleveland?

  1. Fiji’s owners are among the biggest Dem fundraisers in the country. I don’t usually play the silly-liberal game of associating corporations with their owner/management’s political beliefs, but in this case the two are more closely linked than Rupert and his media empire. For every $4 bottle of Fiji or POM you buy, you’re giving $3+ straight to our opponents.

  2. Good to know. I guess the owners aren’t part of the “Patriotic 40 for Fiji” asking for higher taxes… 😛

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