Man Down

Friends, I regret to inform you of some relatively bad news. One of my bottles of Great Lakes Christmas Ale took one for the team tonight. It is horrible, I know.

After dinner with Mary, Gagan, and Alex, I was walking back into the condo complex. I had to get my keys to swipe in, because we’re all security-minded like that, and rather than set the beer down (smart move) I held the 24 pack at an angle with one hand. Rookie move. The handle broke, and the 24 pack fell roughly a foot to the ground. And then I heard the crunch. It was like a car accident. Beer immediately seeped from the box onto the carpet of the common area.

I almost wanted to cry. Like a child too impatient to wait to open gifts in the correct order, I flung open the box. What is the damage, I thought? I opened the box carefully and checked the corner of impact. I saw the lifeless bottle’s remains as its contents flowed to the floor like a crime scene. Sadly, that one bottle gave its little bottle life due to my carelessness. Roughly $3 wasted needlessly. That bottle gave its life so others may live. 23 of my 24 Christmas Ales remain, and we’ll all remember that bottle’s sacrifice when we imbibe. We’ll also remember not to be careless with such a fragile product.

Speaking of those bottles. Here is a group photo of them, and here are some others. Don’t let Christmas Ale go to waste. You will regret it.


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