Category Archives: D.c.

In Senate, Blackberry Era Officially Over

This is the way the world ends. Not with a clickity keyboard, but with a swipe.

Senate staffers will no longer be issued official Blackberry smartphones.

The reign of the Blackberry lasted a good decade or more in Congress, early on due to the advanced nature of the devices and obsession with email checking. Even when the iPhone and Androids came about, the Blackberry still kept the throne for awhile because typing on those tiny little keys was faster, a mastered skill with which the iPhone could not compete. (This being government, they were slow to adopt other devices and Bring Your Own Device policies.)

Eventually, though, cracks in the dam formed and other devices started eating up Blackberry’s near-exclusive market share. Yet, unlike the rest of the country, which quickly abandoned Blackberry and sent its corporate owner towards the verge of bankruptcy, the devices still endured in zip codes 20510 and 20515. Long battery life, an email heavy focus, and good size (complete with a douchey belt holster) kept this little niche alive in the subterranean halls of the Capitol.

Outside the beltway, the market dried up. Fewer and fewer models were created, and the old models hoarded by Capitol bureaucrats began to dwindle.

The final notice was sent to staffers today.

A pile of Senate Blackberries await secure destruction, 2010.

A pile of Senate Blackberries await secure destruction, 2010.

From: Notice (SAA)
Sent: Wednesday, June 29, 2016 3:56 PM
Subject: BlackBerry Discontinuation

This message was sent to Administrative Managers, Chief Clerks, and System Administrators.

BlackBerry Discontinuation

BlackBerry informed Verizon and AT&T that production of all BlackBerry OS 10 devices (Q10, Z10, Z30, Passport, and Classic) has been discontinued. Future carrier order fulfillment will not be guaranteed due to limited remaining stock.

BlackBerry device support will continue for the foreseeable future. BlackBerry is committed to maintaining their support of our devices to include uninterrupted warranty and technical support.

Once we have exhausted our current in-house stock, new device procurements will be limited, while supplies last, to warranty exchanges only.

As of June 29, 2016, our BlackBerry device stock levels are:

RIM Classic Verizon BlackBerry – 275

RIM Z30 Verizon Black BlackBerry – 160

RIM Classic AT&T BlackBerry – 45

RIM Passport AT&T BlackBerry – 45

RIM Z10 AT&T Black BlackBerry – 45

RIM Q10 AT&T Black Blackberry – 40

For offices wishing to make the transition from BlackBerry devices to other platforms, Verizon has agreed to suspend eligibility upgrade requirements for users migrating to Samsung S6 Android devices. Additionally, the $0 16GB iPhone SE has been added to the Technology Catalog, although current eligibility upgrade and mandatory AppleCare+ requirements apply.

If you have questions or need assistance, please contact Mobile Communications Services.

 


UPDATE: The folks over at Crackberry.com reached out to Blackberry about the Senate’s internal email and the company disputes the email’s claim that Blackberry 10 devices will “cease to be continued.”

How Did I Miss Peter Pan?

Thanks to the fine folks at District Trivia and Comcast Sports Net!

If you’re interested in becoming a contestant, you can apply here!

Good Night, Habanero Ranch

My favorite McNugget dipping sauce is being put out to pasture, at least locally. After securing my six free McNuggets from a recent Nationals win, I was told they’d no longer be carrying the deliciously spicy habanero ranch dipping sauce.

Screen Shot 2015-08-12 at 3.40.34 PM

So, if you’re out in the DMV and can score some habanero ranch in the coming days, be sure to say goodbye.

I asked McDonald’s about my habanero ranch reserve and how long I could sit on it. I’ll update if they reply.

RIP, habanero ranch. You’ll be missed.

UPDATE:

Around the same time, film maker and activist Michael Moore confirmed that he is a Cheetos neocon:

UPDATE 2: Caleb Brown shares this appropriate song for remembrance:

D.C. Parking Enforcement Sucks

A story in three pictures.

D.C. Parking enforcement blocks lane by food trucks around noon on 7/28/15. This is on 12th street NW.

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What is beyond the food truck in front of the D.C. Parking enforcement truck? About four parking spaces.

Screen Shot 2015-07-28 at 1.08.38 PM

Thanks, guy in truck # 96 9330.

Screen Shot 2015-07-28 at 1.08.51 PM

 

 

 

WMATA 7000 Series Hype Video (Fixed)

Today, WMATA released a comically sad hype video for their new 7000 series “Snowpiercer” edition train cars. What made it sad was the hype music they found to put it to. I laughed, I cried, I kissed 44 seconds goodbye.

Until I decided to fix it. With the Quad City DJ’s. It took about 30 seconds. I think it came out perfect.

I Tried to Warn You, Cleveland

UPDATE: Cleveland.com has posted an update: “This story and headline have been revised to clarify the possible train closure would take place late at night.” Of course, we’re still far away and won’t know for sure what will happen until it does. For those wanting to people watch and take the RTA in, you may be out of luck. Or, RTA might be told by Secret Service they have to make changes at the last minute and lots of people could be screwed.

Last year, when Cleveland was a finalist for the 2016 GOP convention, I wrote an item for the Cleveland Plain Dealer suggesting that if offered the convention, Cleveland should say no.

Of course, in true Cleveland fashion, I was labeled a heretic in the comment section for merely suggesting it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be and that Cleveland wasn’t well-prepared for it.

The Editors at Cleveland.com suggested I jump into the comments, which is never a good idea. Yet, I did anyway.

Today, I read at Cleveland.com that the RTA might be shut down to the public, which is precisely something I posited might happen in the comments section to a reader.

Screen Shot 2015-03-05 at 12.35.55 PM

 

I hope Cleveland does well with the convention, as I love my home town. But this report is just the first of many to come, and my guess is Clevelanders won’t like the medicine.

Side note: At work, we have already received a prospectus on renting out a home in Shaker on Lee Road next to the RTA. What might have been a good selling point might not be so good if the trains don’t stop at Lee Road and go all the way to Green.

Everywhere a Sign

A years-long mystery that has periodically nagged me was solved today by my friend Hayden Hurst.

On the 14th street bridge, on the left side of the North Bound portion, there’s a square sign with a red octagon (missing one side) with two, smaller, concentric red octagons inside of it. The inner-most part is the face of an Eagle. David Gorsline, a Flickr user, posted a better picture of the logo here, which he found on a sign in Penn Quarter.

sign

Sign on the 14th Street Bridge.

I’ve often wondered if this was some secret sign instructing the military where to go when habeas corpus has been suspended, or had some sort of secret official purpose.

Turns out, it’s just the old logo of the now-demolished Washington Convention Center. And it’s been there for at least a decade, probably multiple decades, as the convention center opened in 1982.

Washington Convention Center - old

Photo of Demolition, via PRWeb.

 

As time goes by and Washington changes, lots of old signs are still up. On Massachusetts Avenue, near the Heritage Foundation (at least when I worked on the Hill) there was still a sign for the MCI center. There are signs for AMTRAK stations everywhere, even though nobody really uses signs like those when we have GPS and Waze.

Hayden reports:

“At least as of last year, there was an exit at Metro Center that still pointed to the MCI Center.”

What about you? What old signs of D.C. and the surrounding area have you seen still in operation that serve no purpose? Weigh in in the comments.

UPDATE: Others have wondered, too, about these obsolete signs.

Hot Pockets, US International Tax Law, and Corporate Inversions

Here’s a recent appearance on One America News Network where I discuss the global economy, corporate inversions, and everyone’s favorite treat: Hot Pockets.

Pat’s Market in Belle Haven is Closed

Pat’s Market, a small mom and pop roadside market in Belle Haven neighborhood of Fairfax County, has closed. It was used as a filming location in the movie The Sentinelstarring Michael Douglas.

Driving to dinner last night, Mary and I noticed it had closed. We had tried stopping there for ice cream once after a picnic on the nearby George Washington Parkway, but it only accepted cash, so we went to Baskin Robbins instead. We never returned. (They later started accepting credit cards according to a Yelp user.)

A Yelper left this obituary:

So sad to discover that Pat’s Market has closed due to an upcoming construction development.

Like Nancy Kerrigan, I must cry out, “Why! Why!…Why” No, more ceviche..no more coldest beer in town…and no more Live Bait! There are simply no words to express this great culinary loss. Yup, I know how you feel, Nancy, for it is just like being kneecapped with a expandable police baton. Damn them!

youtube.com/watch?v=voUM…

I know, Nancy, the pain isn’t half as bad as the knowledge that humanity can be so cruel and callous. But, you survived to go on and win a Silver in the Olympics, and I guess I will make it through without Pat’s Ceviche…But, as you know, Nancy, the loss is still painful. You will be missed Pat’s Market. You will be missed.

 

New Silver Line Ad Features Broken Escalator

Typical.

RNvhOa

Skip to about :53.

Of course, the escalator probably works, but this was too good to check. But you never know.